We’re indebted to our friends at SV 24/7 Vending for pointing us at this story. (PS: they supplied the machine…)
Our popular Wittenborg 9100 is at the centre of a political spat in Stirling. It involves opposing councillors who can’t seem to agree upon which side sanctioned its purchase. The up-shot is some brilliant free publicity for one of N&W’s star machines in the popular Scottish newspaper, The Daily Record.
Top journalist Kaiya Marjoribanks reported it this way: ‘Tory councillors this week accused the new SNP/Labour administration of sanctioning the purchase of the machine – which sits in the members’ lounge and boasts a touch screen and LED lights to show users where to put the cups.’
‘Wake up and smell the coffee, instead of wasting money’, Mrs May’s foot soldiers insisted. Their position is that ‘the costs of such machines were ruled out during the previous administration as being too expensive at a time when council finances were under pressure.’
Conservative group leader Councillor Neil Benny is clearly seething: ‘The first act of this administration is to buy themselves an expensive new coffee machine. This spits in the face of the people of Stirling who are paying for it.’
It seems to us that Cllr Benny is suffering from the little-known condition of coffee machine envy; that’s to say, a bad case of sour grapes. You see: ‘The Labour group wanted to buy one while I was still finance convenor and were told ‘no’. Clearly, their new SNP paymasters have as cavalier an attitude towards taxpayers’ money as Labour.’
The SNP’s Councillor Scott-Farmer hit back: “Councillor Benny has a very short memory’ he said. ‘He often hogged the previous coffee machine, slurping the contents on an only too regular basis. This is merely a replacement machine for what has been a long standing facility in the members’ lounge.
And if that wasn’t daft enough, it got dafter; when it was claimed that the Wittenborg 9100 was ordered before the council election in May – under Councillor Benny’s watch…
Weighty issues, indeed. The good news for us is that Daily Record writer was thorough in her background research, describing at length the machine’s considerable capabilities.
She wrote: ‘According to the model’s online brochure it features: “Coffee exactly to your taste: espresso, cappuccino; café latte or a creamy hot chocolate – made just they way you like, simply by the touch of your finger. The touch screen allows you to make changes to the drink strength and ingredient amount to tailor the drink to your specific requirements. Added features can include Wi-Fi and Bluetooth enabled on-screen information, online connectivity and even the weather forecast.’
Read it for yourself, here.
Our MD, Dave Ward, came up with a great idea to solve the problem of Wittenborg-Gate: ‘I think they should all sit down calmly together and discuss it over a great cup of coffee’, he said. ‘The machine they’ve chosen, the Wittenborg 9100, is the ideal machine to serve their purposes. It’ll keep them royally refreshed, even through those all-night sessions.’
* We’d like to thank Kaiya Marjoribanks and The Daily Record newspaper for their co-operation in bringing this story to you.